Although you may mean well, know that it is probably easier to hurt a woman who suffers from infertility by saying something than by saying nothing. Do not feel you have to give advice. If the right thing does not come to mind then simply listen with compassion. To say things such as “I am so sorry you are under going such pain” and acknowledging that you can’t imagine how difficult it must be to go through this will be appreciated.
Although every woman is different, a general rule of thumb for most women is to allow her to bring up the subject as she may or may not feel like talking about it at that moment or she may simply not want to talk about it with certain people and this should be respected.
This may be the first crisis the couple has had to face. They may feel as if they are failing one another. It is important to encourage the couple to maintain open communication with each other and/or a professional.
Avoid being curious about the cause of a couple’s infertility. If the couple wants to share that information with you they will – in their own time.
Sharing stories of others’ experiences may or may not be helpful. Giving advice such as “relax and it will happen” is probably not something she would want to hear. People don’t become less stressed by being told not to be stressed.
Remember the length of time of mourning is unique to every individual. Telling them to “get over it” is less than helpful. It may make the woman feel that her suffering has no right to exist.
Also well-intentioned, compliments such as “you would have made an awesome mother” serve only to remind the woman of what she doesn’t have. Be particularly aware ofsuch comments on Mothers’ Day.
While adoption is a wonderful choice and the child would be loved, know that it does not resolve the issue of infertility nor does it always take away the couple’s pain.
While not every couple is meant to have biological children the Creighton FertilityCare™ System and NaProTechnology® will help them attain the answers they seek and deserve. Having answers will often allow the couple to move on to make decisions about things such as adoption.